Couples Therapy with Emotionally-Focused Therapy

Couples come in knowing that they are struggling with communication. They know that they are trying as hard as they can to express something, but their partner does not seem to understand them. They understand that they get stuck in a doom spiral, where everyone gets hurt and no one can find a way out.

Emotionally-Focused Therapy helps the couple understand the cycle that causes the conversation they desperately need to have to go off the rails. We help people look at exactly what is sending danger cues, what the scary attachment messages are, the complex feelings they are struggling with, and what they automatically do when they are feeling unheard or unloved.

At first, this kind of couples therapy can seem like a vague process compared to giving the couple communication tools. Why are we talking about feelings? Why are we understanding past hurts? Can’t we just move forward with how to do this better?

What evidence shows is that it is the unprocessed pain and fear that drives our self-protective behaviors. While these behaviors reliably make the relationship worse, they are also trying to keep you safe. EFT works to help the couple process these pains and fears to create more security, so that the brain can actually access a more productive behavior or communication in key moments of need.

If you’re interested in learning more about EFT, check this page out. If you’re interested in connecting with one of our therapists to understand more, reach out today.